Right Outta’ My Mouth….

Sick of Food and Diet Warnings?

At what age do people finally lose their cool and just scream at the television set, turn it off, do the same with radio - all because every item of food we attempt to pleasantly enjoy eating is now deemed a ‘killer’ of humans and our demise is imminent.

We each have our favorite foods, having grown up with them, stuffed things in our mouths for at least half our lives and suddenly the very items that are about 50% of our dietary ‘needs’ are on the hit list to be banned from our lives forever.

I’m not talking about “fast foods” that came after my teen years, thus I was not addicted to the drive-through burger joints. My youth was filled with ‘drive-up-car-hop’ service where food is one feature. The other was meeting up with friends and enjoying an evening out with a date or just a group of pals.

“Where’s the Beef?” A tag line for a famous burger commercial has now become a reality as we are told that “BEEF” is not good for our bodies. Too much fat, raises cholesterol which clogs your arteries and you die. If lucky, you could have a quadruple by-pass surgery and survive another 10 years eating lettuce.

Today, it is much easier to see a Nutritionist and ask: “What CAN I eat?” Just get it over with and once you know the rules of what, when, and how much, you then make an intelligent decision and just say, “Screw It.”

I was already sick of hearing the warnings even though I personally did not eat ‘junk food,’ was not ever a ‘chocoholic’ and I felt for the people who had weight problems since I never did. However, one day I became seriously ill with the end result of medicinal side effects leading me directly to a Nutritionist who was the only professional who could help me get well. I weighed all of 90 pounds and could not eat anything.

That day I became an authority in my own right on good and bad food for the body if one is ill, but for the healthy I did not see one redeeming value to starving and being miserable. It took two years of eating ‘cardboard’ rice cakes before the food chain started to put flavor in them. I did not know what bread looked like let alone remember how good it tasted. Nothing white. Totally Gluten (and taste) free.

I did well on this ‘medical’ diet and got myself back into good health and gained 30 pounds. I had a body again and I began to introduce the foods I loved back into my diet such as a baked potato… with butter. And so it went. Little by little I was eating my preferred meals from childhood and continued not to enjoy junk food.

One day, the government decided to tell the American People that they are OBESE! Sure enough, committees were set up and now every kind of rule and regulation was about to be implemented to get ‘we the people’ in shape by curbing our appetite for junk food. That kind of put me over the edge. That evening, my husband and I were taking a nice young couple out to a favorite café for dinner. The young woman is now in her last 3 months of nursing school and I have always noticed that the couple eats sensibly with good nutritious meals as my husband and I generally try to do ourselves. We have shared recipes for quick meals after a hard day at school and work.

Having totally forgotten the earlier ‘obesity’ news of the day, I excused myself to trek to the rest room; and, as I had done many times in the past at this café, I waltzed slowly past the large glass dessert case and once again looked closely at the “Mile High Chocolate Fudge Cake.” It had 8 thick layers, uncut and fresh, tempting the chocolate lovers. I always wondered at the exact height which looked to be nearly a foot tall.

Returning to the table, our empty dinner plates had been whisked away, and once I was seated, I announced, “I want a big piece of that decadent-looking chocolate cake I have admired for at least 3 years. My companions looked at me as if I had lost my mind but I was dead serious and I convinced them we should order two slices as I intended to eat at least one half of that piece of cake right then and there. The young man protested that he did not like, nor eat chocolate. I said that I did not eat chocolate either but “tonight is the night” so he agreed. My husband, an admitted repository for junk food, was the only person not objecting to this indulgence.

When the cake arrived, one normal slice covered a full-sized dinner plate and could easily have fed four people more than comfortably. Extra plates were set out and I proceeded to cut ½ of my cake to pass to my husband; our friends did likewise.

OH MY………… My mouth could not believe what it was tasting. I never had anything that tasted so delicious, so fresh, so creamy, so moist and so wonderful in my adult life. I slowly savored every inch of that cake and never said a word. I was in chocolate decadence heaven. What, I thought, had I been missing all these years? At least three for sure. I can only assume the others were enjoying their cake as no one said a word until we had almost ‘licked the plates’ clean of the fudge that was still clinging to them.

Finally, all of us just breathed heavily and agreed that it was the most wonderful dessert any of us had ever had and the experience alone was worth the price of a chocolate headache, if one should occur.

Mile HIght chocolate CakeWell, I must confess from that day forward for two full years until the day the café closed, we went there weekly for a very light meal and a huge piece of that Mile High Cake. Everyone in the café knew how we wanted it served, when to cut it and how long to let it ‘sit’ before serving it to us. And, they also knew that no matter who was at dinner, we would each have our own slice of cake, ½ or more of which was taken home for completion when hunger struck.

The café has been closed now for a year and I lost the few pounds I gained from the 2 year ritual and only a week ago, the same young couple, my husband and I were dining at a new restaurant and the young man said to me, “You know, lately I have been having cravings for chocolate and I never ate it in my life until you introduced me to that Mile High Cake and now, where in the world can we find it again?”

I happily take the blame. I realized over the two years of pure joy that people have fallen into the trap of guilt put on them by the marketing genius taken up by the “food police” telling us what to eat and what not to eat. Oh, most people will ignore the warnings but they sure did lose the joy of indulging because of guilt.

Sharing this story with some great like-mindeds, we have determined that there is a real NEED for an establishment in our community as well as every other community in this country to serve only JUNK FOOD. The decadent JUNK FOOD. The Junkier, the better. Indulge yourself once a week and the other 6 days you can THINK about eating greens, veggies, and fruit!